There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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