hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
