Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
