I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
