Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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