I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
