Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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