he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
