Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
