ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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