I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
