everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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