Have you finally orgasmed yet?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
