When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
True strength comes from lack of pants
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
