how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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