I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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