I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
