You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
