I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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