I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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