Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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