u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
