at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
