Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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