lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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