It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
