Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
