TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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