I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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