So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
