STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
