i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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