Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
