look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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