Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
