Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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