Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
tell your sister to shave her snatch
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
