I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
