when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
