His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
