pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The ass gains better be worth it
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