look no pants
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
