Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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