You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
