I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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