yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
