Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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