Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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