Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
