I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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